a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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