Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Randomize
