I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
