I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
