Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
