It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
