Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
