you guys were way drunker than both of me
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
