I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
