He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
BRING THE BAGELS
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize