Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
