it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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