I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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