you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
