I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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