omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
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