don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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