During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
