it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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