And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
