But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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