Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
