I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
