I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
