i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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