Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
