bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I want a musical about memes.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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