Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
