anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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