okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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