so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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