she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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