Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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