Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I need a beard to bite.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
