I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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