I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
