Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wish you could order shots online.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
