I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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