I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
