thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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