she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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