so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
