You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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