so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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