just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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