Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
