I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
