...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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