My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
