Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize