conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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