i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
