it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
