OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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