just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
