Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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