Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
