Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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