we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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