Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
